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Cathy Shanghai

Don’t say I am tough. Women should be strong.

Because of my job, I have met so many people both in Shanghai and U.S. That is really a unique and meaningful life experience for me. I don’t expect everyone to understand it; at least this part of special life experience changed some of my opinions and attitude in some aspects, I turned into a mature lady from a big girl.

However, nothing is perfect. I met some guys who were not that wonderful as well. They have human feeling; unfortunately, they took a pessimistic view on human affairs. For an example, some guys are really play boys, they like to play with girls’ emotion or manipulate them. They find themselves exist from playing around with girls, it sounds like it’s their only private entertainment. They are big mouth, and they regard telling bullshits around as fun and because of their big mouth, they created troubles for different girls. Some guys say I am tough and arrogant, but I would rather to say I am difficult to be handled, that’s why they got the failed feeling on me. I don’t understand why some people like to manipulate others; we all humans have individual thinking, we can share different opinions with each other and discuss it. But when it has wide difference, it would be wise not to judge and criticize others. I remember there was an American guy visited me as a spy in my apartment, we agreed on a 2-hour appointment and he spent almost one hour on talking with me. The problem is most of the questions were usual which sounds like it was a census at the beginning of discussion. After it, he turned it into another topic. He tried to recommend another girl to me and give some his suggestions. Now there are two points. First one is it’s a sensitive topic for me if I am asked about my family or my privacy. In this case, I am always careful for the answers and try to protect myself. Especially with the strangers, I probably get more cautious. The other point is I don’t think it’s wise to talk about other girls with the girl you are meeting, and I believe most people will agree with me on this point. Duo to these two points I mentioned above, we actually didn’t have very nice talk though. In my opinion, I think the reason is I didn’t feel comfortable with being asked some sensitive questions and not satisfied with his purpose as a spy to meet me, so I was a little bit aggressive to give answers. In addition, I was really not interested in his suggestion, so I refused it several times although he insisted on it from the beginning to the end. After that one hour long conversation, he said you were good at talking with your mouth; let’s see how your sexual ability was, and then we finally started the action. Fortunately, he seemed to be satisfied with the service I offered on him. Before his departure, he repeated his advice, and I rejected it again, I also repeated my reasons to him meanwhile. Then he told me that I was good at what I did for my business, but I was not soft, and he would like to spend money on sweet girls. Therefore, he would not repeat me anymore. My answer to him was I was totally fine with it. I don’t want to give comments on others, I prefer to analyze affairs. First, people will try to protect themselves when we are attacked. In this situation, we will do some aggressive behavior from usual; we call it “self-defense”. As a new client to me and even visited in my place, this American guy not only not showed some respect, but also were not very friendly to me. For examples, he asked me if I gave discount regular customers. My answer was I never had discount to clients. Then he said my business wouldn’t be good, because guys would not repeat me if I didn’t give them some discount. I didn’t agree with his opinion, so I explained it to him that it was all about the whole monthly income. Even if I would lose a few customers if I didn’t give them discount, but my unit price for each client was a bit higher compare with discount price. Therefore, I actually still could keep making money. And in this case, I don't need to take clients one by one, and then I can have some leisure time to take some rest and deal with my private things. Probably it’s those guys’ strategy to take advantage of girls and ask for discount. He immediately criticized me in face that I liked to account too much. I mean this is totally personal point of view, I am the only one to handle my life, and I make my own decision for my life, because I am the only one who is able to be responsible for my life. Like what I have told all of you that I had many great friends around me also shared suggestions with me, but all in friendly ways, and never judged me. What I am trying to say is every result has corresponding reasons, and everyone has their character. The only way to get respect is to respect others first, if we all have good attitude to each other, the world will be changed better. Second, I want to mention that I am not a submissive woman that just to follow others; however, I am an independent woman, and I have my own philosophy, principles and ways to do things. Some people just misunderstand this as me being arrogant or tough. It’s unfair to judge me as sweet or tough if the reason is I don’t follow others. I will continue using this issue as an example. That American guy’s suggestion was to introduce me to meet another girl, and see if there was possibility to work together. To be honest, this suggestion has no problem; the problem is with whom I will work with. I believe that everyone has standards to choose with whom they want to make friends or work together, that’s human’s essential nature. I have heard about that girl from some other clients, so when I was told which girl would be introduced to me, I have already had my decision. I refused this suggestion directly the first time I was advised, and even gave him the reasons why I disagreed with it. My philology is I prefer to do things which are meaningful and efficient; in this case, to meet people who are not useful is not to match for my way, and I don’t like to waste time on unimportant things. I am an honest person, and very straight forward. So sometimes people don’t feel comfortable with my type of ways, probably they feel I hurt their feelings. But this American guy was a bit stubborn; he tried to struggle with retorting my opinions, and kept on telling me how great that girl was. Therefore, we had debate as to whether I needed to meet that girl or not, and it lasted for a while. Unfortunately, whatever he said, I just rejected his advice several times. After it, he got a conclusion on me. He said that I couldn’t do big things, because I didn’t know how to cooperate with others. I smiled at him and asked him that who told him I didn’t know how to work with others, the key was who would be my work partners, and I was the only one to select them. In order to give further explanation, I started to have some questions to him. I asked him why that girl was the only one recommendation to me. He told me that she was good enough to cooperate with me. My second question to him was why he insisted on recommending her to me even if I rejected this suggestion several times. Or probably he could try to introduce other girls to me. He explained to me that because that girl’s business was declining recently. Normally she got one client almost every day, but last week she only had three customers. And one of those three clients was very aggressive to her, and she seemed to get hurt a little bit in physical, and that guy didn’t give her tips for his aggressive behavior on her. So they tried to figure it out and see what they could do to change her situation. That was why he was in my place now; he said it to me and to see if he could do something for her, as they are very close friends for many years. I meditated on all what happened during this appointment with him before answering him, and then replied that I couldn’t believe someone who I never met in person, whatever he described how good she was, however, that was all being told from others, so it wouldn’t help me to make decision. My standards to make friends or find work partners are including their education, background, social/life experience, family education and personal taste. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, I have clear mind to guide my own life. There was an episode in the conversation I would like to tell. After being explained why I disagreed with his suggestion, he suddenly sneered at me with a disdainful smile, he said that my nose bridge was not straight, and that girl really had very strong nose bridge. Then I answered him that it was him who selected me to meet and decided to spend money on me. He said he couldn’t see my face clearly because blurring on my pictures. I continued replying to him, but now you saw me in person, since you were not satisfied with my appearance, why you still sat here and stayed in my place. He pondered for a few seconds, and he said it in a whisper that not many girls could have such long talk with him, most of them just listen to him. At that moment, I stood in front of him and waited for his reaction. He was in a daze for quite a few seconds, and said to me that he was a general manger…… he seemed to tell me that I should respect him. My brain always runs fast, then I replied to him with quick minded. I said, every guy who reached the agreement with me and made an appointment with me was a client to me. No matter what they did for living, valuable jobs or lousy jobs, if I met them for entertainment business, I regarded all of them as my clients, because I work as an escort. So it was really not necessary to show off something in front of escorts, because our agreement was to enjoy some fun together, nothing else. Now he tried to talk about respect with me. I asked him if he had ever showed some respect to me as a client, he emphasized his point of view which seemed was not related to my question. He answered me that guys paid for me. Guys paid for my time, not paid for giving me troubles or insulting me, I replied to him. When he was leaving, he seriously told me that he would not meet me again, because I was too tough to him, and he preferred sweet girls. I replied to him no problem, I was fine with it. At that moment, I was thinking that what made him thought I wanted him to be my regular client. Money? Oh, jokes! Then he said I was arrogant, because I refused the invitation from that girl. Well, I think I have explained him the reasons why I rejected very clearly. No matter he felt comfortable or not with the reasons, at least he should respect it and me even if he couldn’t accept it. It was unfair to judge me as good or not if he couldn’t handle me. Actually when I was visiting U.S at the end of last year, I made some good reputation in the entertainment industry and I really made some friends there. One of my friends Mr. T is an enthusiastic gentleman and he is a real Asian fever. He likes to help others with his warm heart; also he loves to play duo fun a lot. So he tried to recommend me his favorite girl, unfortunately, I was not very much into her. Then he just left it, and not focused on it. After it, he recommended me another two wonderful girls that I liked so much, and both of them appreciated me as well. After doing some effects, we have already reached on an agreement that we would date with Mr. T together when we were both in New York. What I am trying to say is that I will only make choices what I feel suits me. And things work out only if we respect each other. I have a summary with 4 points for this incidence. First of all, which is the most significant point is do not manipulate others as our expectation. Normally human beings are moral, that is why different people will have different reaction when they get stimulation. So we can’t force others to do what we want, it’s not liberal. Even though we want to help people, in my opinions, it is better we give advice as friends. In this case, we need to makes friends first, because everything is based on trust. But we all have different standards to make friends; this is what we cannot deny. It’s sad that some people are insecure, they only can find their exist feeling when they are take in charge of others. They want to show they have power to manipulate others, so they feel they are better. They never understand how to get people like them for who they are instead of they think they should be. Second, do not judge others with our limited knowledge and experience so easily. Everyone is an individual person, when we get different views from others, we should be able to listen and appreciate how different views can facilitate wonderful changes in our life, instead of judging others. Why we should judge others? To show off we are better? Or to show we have small mind? Judgments can make us more close minded, because in this case, we always think we are the right one, so we lose the opportunities to listen other different opinions. Third, everyone gets respect only if we respect others first. I am pretty sure this is the topic that to be discussed by almost every one again and again. We talk about it all the time, but we still don’t know how to behavior it. Probably it is easy to say it, but it is difficult to do it. Humanity is complex and difficult to catch; we always want more from others. Fourth, do not put others down and show off ourselves, especially in the disgusting ways. I don’t think it’s a smart way to criticize me in my face on my appearance, particularly for a “general manager”, it sounds like an ass behavior. I actually had a few opportunities to meet some great people during last trip in the States, especially in Washington D.C, the capital of the Unite States. All of them are low key, gentle and good mannered, they even were very interested in me as a native Chinese lady from China. None of them showed off in front me. In my world, the most beautiful scene is two people talk about the future or dreams when they are naked in bed. Forget who we are, just cuddle me in your strong arms from the side, keep your body close to me, then I can feel everything, and talk about my dreams with you in a whisper. This fabulous feeling is much better than some guys told me they came to China and worked there was to help Chinese people. One American guy even said that he didn’t want to say how bright he was, he only spent two years to get the manger job position in China, and the reason he worked and stayed in China was to help us and change better. Just tried to satisfy my curiosity, I asked him if he was really extraordinary enough, why not contributing his wisdom to his country U.S? Otherwise it’s kind of waste. I understand that pride is one part of human nature, we all have. But do not put others down and hurt people’s feeling, just for showing off ourselves. Maybe the better way is to remind ourselves calm down as long as we almost forget who we are. As my experience, some clients are enthusiastic, and they like to help girls. It sounds like good point, but in my views, we should see it in two different parts. Some guys are smart enough to handle the rules of this entertainment business. They are friends of different girls, they give suggestions both on girls’ personal life and business, and they are even breath of life to girls. However, they never tell bullshit among different girls, and even make women’s wars, they are not big mouth. That’s the significant and also difficult part to do, even if in people’s personal life, not in this entertainment business, this point is still a vital element to see the personality. A gentleman Mr. D I met in New York is a good example for this philosophy. I met Mr. D two times in Manhattan; he has typical American guys looking and character. He has a friendly face with some bread, and probably because of his age, he got some beer belly, which is acceptable for me. He is a happy person; he likes laughing, meeting interesting people, taking social events with friends, and helping others when they need. Of course, he likes sex like most other men, and he is into kinky stuff. We keep connection even if I went back to Shanghai, and we message to each other on whatsapp frequently. I have never heard he said anything bad on other girls, what he said about girls was only great compliments, and he even asked me to send greetings to another girl I would meet next time when I was in Manhattan. The other part is some guys they are too much enthusiastic, they make the women’s wars and even hurt other girls without making things clearly just for helping their favorite girls. For examples, one time, when I just arrived at a client hotel room, that American guy didn’t send me any greetings, what he said to me instead of greetings was that he didn’t like how I look, and he preferred western girls style. I hesitated for a few seconds, and then what I replied to him was then why he picked an Asian lady to meet in China, and I believed he did homework before doing it, so he should be clear that 98% of escorts in Shanghai are Asian girls, otherwise he should hook up in U.S or Europe. At that moment, I noticed his face looked a bit uncomfortable. Then I continued asking him that if he wanted to keep me to stay or leave, and he chose me the first option. During the sexual session, he just lay in bed like a dead star, no face expression, no mental exchange, no physical reaction. So in the end, he asked me to make him jerk off with hand job. After that, his comment on me was he still felt comfortable with western girls than Asians. Then I replied to him that I actually got the right opposite comments from many other western guys. What I have told was many foreigners are yellow fevers, and they feel very comfortable to stay with smart and sweet Asian girls. He asked me that how I knew it, if I had ever been in the States. I said I hadn’t been in U.S yet, but some of my American clients they shared their bad stories between them and their wives with me, and that was all what they told me. Guess what he replied, he said those Americans were stupid! And his final comment on me was I was sophisticated and confident. It sounds like a weird American guy and a strange story, but one day I finally made everything clearly. There was a nice American businessman tried to hint me that it was the girl who was refused to meet by me spread out that spy story among many clients she met. I cannot say she said something bad on me, because I don’t have solid evidence. But at least, she made lots of guys had curiosity to meet me and then asked me what happened me and her, and some of those guys even treated me unfairly with their screwy psychology. First, as a client to hook up, you should have good attitude to meet girls and show some respect. If guys have other purpose to date girls, then they should ask themselves whether they find the reasons that they must do it, and if it is really necessary to do it; If they did it, they should consider whether things would be changed or not. Second, do not judge people or things when we only know of it from one side. For instance, I can understand that weird American guy probably appreciate that girl a lot, or they are good friends, and he wanted to do something for her as a friend. Whatever, he should have tried to insult me without suitable reasons. He never asked me the story from my side, no matter I was willing to answer or not, he never did it. What he did was he tried to crack down me; unfortunately, he failed to hurt my feeling. Third, how large the universe is that depends on our heart. I remember more than half of year ago, there was an American client visited me in my duplex, and he was more interested in the story between me and that girl. He started the conversation with asking a sensitive question, and his first question to me was if I know that girl, and he said that he bet it was not my first time to hear this question, because there must be some other guys asked me the same questions. I answered to him that I had heard of her, many guys said she was a great woman, because she helped her family a lot. Then he asked me that if I had ever met her in person, otherwise how I knew that. I said I didn’t catch up her, but I was told by many different clients, and they all gave her high compliments. Then he smiled, and said that she was right. I recognized the reason why he said it, so I explained it to him. I told him that some other ‘enthusiastic’ guys said I was sneaky, because I said something bad on her in front of that American spy, but I had high comments on her in front of other clients. In my opinion, it was totally wrong. I have my rights to select whom I want to meet and make friends, and my personal standards to make friends or find work partners are including their education, background, social/life experience, family education and personal taste. When I was asked the reasons why I rejected to meet that girl by the American spy, I needed to answer it, so I just told by my heart, because I am very straight forward. But it doesn’t mean I said something bad on her. And when some clients asked me my impression of her, what I could say should be objective. That’s why I always replied that I was told by many guys that she was a great woman, because she helped her family a lot. We should always say good things on others, this is my principle. After getting my explanation, he seemed to understand the whole issue more clearly, and then he said that I hurt her feeling. I heaved a sigh of relief and said, it was her who felt that I hurt her feeling. If people could be generous and have big mind, then there wouldn’t be so many troubles or fights happened every day. He didn’t give have any comment on it, and he continued asked me if I would apologize to her or say something about it, otherwise she said she would kept on tell all guys around about the ‘bad’ things she thought I did on her. I laughed out and said it was not the first time I got the warning from her; some other clients told me the same things directly or hinted me. I absolutely would not say something or apologized to her, because I didn’t do anything wrong with her. It was not me who made her feel bad, and if she could see the whole issue with a different views, if she could not only believe what that American spy told her, and analyze the whole issue with her own mind, probably she would change her mind and feel better. He meditated for a few seconds, and he told me that I would lose some business if I didn’t say something to her. Because as he knows that some guys they just believe the story they were told by that girl, and they made decision that to be far away from me. I was fine with it, I looked at my rose carmine figure nails and answered. I said that my business targets were nice gentlemen, and my business style was to have connection with guys both on mental and physical. It was the personal standards to select girls who match of their taste to enjoy good time. And those guys who tried to give me difficult time in the appointments for helping their friend were not good quality customers, so why should I expect them come back to me? I continued explaining to him that I never did things only for money. As a companion, I also had my right to select customers like what clients did on girls. As everything had two sides, that was fair. It depended on girls that if they were willing to be selective or they just took clients. For me, I have picky, because I have my principles to do things. Therefore, even if I didn’t have clients sometimes, I could enjoy my leisure time at home. About the warning from that girl, if she thought she could derogate my image and business, and then she could do whatever she wanted if that made her happy. Because for guys who had taste would not believe what others told them so easily, what they would do was to make the whole issue clearly from different side, not only one side, then thought it through and have their own opinions on it. So those guys who believed her and made decision that not to meet me, they probably were not my right customers, in the case, I didn’t think I lose business. After this long dialog, he seemed changed his impression of me. He looked at me with smile on his face, and said, you were a strong person, you had some taste and your own philosophy, and he thought he almost got the answers he needed. No one is perfect, we are all in learning and improving. Sometime we cannot go through it at the moment, but one day we will figure it out.

It’s not an article attracting anyone or showing off myself, I just try to let people read me and know who I am. I am a person who I am, I am a natural strong lady, which is the power from inside; I have some pride, and I believe people all have pride in their own aspects. My pride is from my confidence, my confidence is from how my grandfather (he passed away in 10/2016) built it. I act like a sweet girl in some occasions, because we women enjoy the feeling to be spoiled as your princess sometimes. I am a hard worker, that’s the only way we can succeed. Again, life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.